Keeping Calm: When Things Don’t Go As Planned

It goes without saying, but a lot of times, things don’t really go as planned. This extends outside of the writing scenarios that we have often used as frames for our posts, and definitely into life, in general. From plans being rescheduled at the very last minute, to traffic jams becoming problematic because you have a lot of things to do and you’ve already mapped them out, except you’re being held up, to so, so many other things that we can easily get stressed over. In a day and age where everything moves fast, and everyone demands so many things from everyone else, one cannot exactly afford to get stalled by even just the smallest of things. We put a huge premium on time now, and because of the level of technology that we possess, we are able to process more things in a short span of time than we used to, say, half a century ago, or so. But that’s just the problem – a lot of things rely on fast processing, on technology, on well-made plans, that if even just one part of this gets stalled, everything else will pile up.

So of course we lose temper. We get annoyed. We get annoyed especially if the problem is not something we caused, but something something – or someone – else has caused, and this will lead to blaming – here, there, everywhere, possibly staining your relationship with others, as you start to develop biases against others’ work ethic. Or perhaps it is your fault and you either refuse to acknowledge it or you cannot actually work it out. Whatever the scenario is, we do lose temper, and we do tend to go do things that are, possibly, counterproductive.

So what can we do, when things don’t go our way?

Keep calm.

Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.
– Dalai Lama

Easier said than done, certainly. And it can’t exactly apply cleanly to everyone, as there are those who lose their temper faster than others. But if you dwell on getting frustrated, if you follow the storminess of your temper, things might get worse than they already are. Remember that emotions affect your decision-making, your judgment, and it’s certainly not going to help if someone’s mistake gets bigger and more irreparable because of you.

The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
– Carl Jung

Keeping calm is valuable because it affords you a less biased, more rational view of the problem that you are now facing. If things aren’t going your way, you can ask yourself – why? And then ask yourself – what can I do to remedy these problems? Who else is affected by the problem? Who else is getting agitated because of the problem? These are questions that you need to think about, questions that you need to acknowledge. Letting anger get to your head won’t help you solve your problem. So learn to relax and calm down. Letting stress get to you will not help.

But how?

Sometimes you can find peace of mind by transferring yourself to different situations. They’re just reminders to stay… calm.
– Yves Behar

In theory, you should know how to make yourself calm. You should know the things that calm you down. Simple things, maybe, like looking at pictures of puppies on the Internet, or reading inspirational quotes, or – if you’re particularly religious – reading Bible verses. Listening to calming music can help, or to the sounds of nature. If drinking something warm helps you out, then do it. If watching a few videos will let you relax, then do it. Whatever you think, or know, will make you calm, is something worth doing.

But do not start thinking that, by doing something calming, you’re wasting your time. This will only agitate you more. The thing is, the problem – whatever it is – is already there. If you can, think of doing something that will calm you down in a very short span if time, just a quick fix, so to speak. But again, don’t let everything get to your head. Just relax, and distance yourself from the immediate pressure of the problem, in order to be able to assess what you can do to fix the problem.